Clarification for the Below Post( Read this Last)

I just read through my last blog and have some clarification.

You can have more than one friend who is best friend material and they can all be really, really good friends. However you can only have one "Best" friend and that is the point I was trying to get at. People use that term in the wrong cases.

Just making sure I got the point I was trying to make across and not something different.

A Lot To Chew On (For Me and You)

Sorry for such a long time period between blogs, this is going to be a long blog to make up for thedelay. I hope your ready because in my opinion this blog is full of thought.

My first thought topic goes out to all of those people pleasers, and yes I'll admit that it includes me. Actually for those that know I strive to keep people happy with me. First lets look at what it means to be a people pleaser. I believe it means trying to keep people happy, with you and in general. This may mean telling them things that aren't 100% true but it is what they want to hear. It could also mean tolerating being around someone who you don't really want to be around. This is just what happens on the outside. Being an avid people pleaser I know what goes on inside their head. On the inside there may be some anxiety about how to act or worry about making sure you do the right thing. Even if it isn't much, even a little can cause in action. To the mind of a people pleaser in action is a safe bet if you want to make sure you aren't upsetting or offending anyone. Also going inside their head is an analyzation of every thing that is going on around them, this can cause unneeded pressure and worry.

Now that the concept of being a people pleaser has been covered I am going to ask the question "Can being a people pleaser go to far?". I believe it can. There is nothing wrong with wanting others approval and wanting them to be happy with you and in general, but there is a point where it becomes unhealthy or cruel to someone else. First lets look at unhealthy; if it ever gets to a point where, you look at every little situation and interaction with someone and try to figure out if your doing something wrong and what it is, then it is unhealthy. Doing this will probably leave you to believe that no one likes you, which is a nightmare for a people pleaser. Now Lets look at the cruel side of being a people pleaser. For someone who strives to make others Happy they never intend to hurt or make things hard for others. This may sometimes mean that they tell people what they want to hear to some extent. Being a people pleaser myself I know the reality of this, and it is hard for me to evaluate or judge something or someone. Even in my own mind I have a hard sometimes. It could be a simple of question of "Did I do a good job, or a matter that could affect someones future. People pleasers don't intend to hurt but ask yourself this question "Are you really doing what is best for the other person.

Striving to make others happy is not a bad thing by any stretch of the imagination, and I think we all have the desire to not upset others (some more than others). However if obsessed over, used as a barrier or trying to protect others it can turn out bad. I have had experience with every situation and I know that it can turn out bad. So my challenge is this for everyone not just people pleasers. Who should you spend more time and energy pleasing others or God. You know the answer and so do I.

This brings me to my next that I will let you ponder in your own head. "People have the tendency to be meaner to the ones that they love the most and who love them the most, because they know that they will still love them." My mom told this to me, I think it is pretty impressive.

8/20

This blog is getting very long please bear with me. I wrote this section at 12:00 Midnight after just getting back from Kings Dominion; it was a blast. I'd like to give a shout out to everyone who came (John, Ashley, Micheal, Jessie, Rachael, Emma, Leslie, Amy, Tim, and how could I forget David Story AKA Death Storm. The coasters are great but the people your with make or break the day. Can't wait for next year, here's to hoping, Ceder Point.

The Montgomery County Agricultural fair has come and gone, but the pigs have not. Most will be attending the state fair over the labor day weekend. The pigs did well and I had a great week. Thanks goes out to any and all FBCGV members who came to visit. I truly do appreciate it. That about sums up what I've been doing with my life, now for some more meat and potatoes.

In my personal and professional opinion the term "Best Friend" is being used and abused a lot more now a days. Many people do not have a clear concept of what it means to be a best friend. They throw the word around and you may find that if you spend enough time with them that they have multiple "Best" friends. How can that be, everyone can't be the best because some are always better. No ones perfect and everyone has preferences, everyone can't be your best friend.Nonetheless, I see it all the time, people will comment "oh, their my best friend" or "Your my best friend" or even better "Your my best friend now." My sister is one of the worst at this; everyone is her best friend. When I hear her say this it makes me mad, does she really mean it for everyone, No! It is as simple as that, everyone can't be your best friend.

What do people like my sis and others use this term so often. One reason may be because they don't really know who their best friend is so if they call everyone their best friend, then they won't have to make a decision. The thing about picking one best friend is that you don't know if you are their best friend also. Another reason could be just plain not really meaning it and using the wrong word. I'm only speculating on why this happens, but I do know one thing. I take The mater seriously. If someone calls me their best friend I want them to mean it. I don't want to hear a week latter them calling someone else their best friend. Sure best friends do change but not on a week to week sporadic basis. Developing a best friendship takes time, and trust, this is for a true best friendship. You can depend on a best friend; anytime, anywhere they got your back. Some people are like that naturally so it can be tricky to tell. It should be seen as an honor to be called someones best friend, because it means they trust you and you can trust them. I think in this world the idea and practice of a best friend is dieing. Sure there are really good friends or people who are fun to be around, people that will help you out, and their are even true best friends.

People should be more aware of what the word really means and how they are using it, because having a true best friend is special. And it is something you shouldn't let slip away without a fight! Take some time to consider your friends, do you have any true best friends or at least some potential. I know to a lot of people, they may not care if you call them your best friend and you just mean your having fun or thier one of your good friends. For me however having a best friend and being a best friend means something. I try to be the best friend I can be at all times to everyone, but to have a true best friendship it takes two.

"Friends may come and go like the season, but a true Best Friend will last a life time."

-Josh Mayne

"Friendship is defined one all levels "

-Josh Mayne