A Lot To Chew On (For Me and You)

Sorry for such a long time period between blogs, this is going to be a long blog to make up for thedelay. I hope your ready because in my opinion this blog is full of thought.

My first thought topic goes out to all of those people pleasers, and yes I'll admit that it includes me. Actually for those that know I strive to keep people happy with me. First lets look at what it means to be a people pleaser. I believe it means trying to keep people happy, with you and in general. This may mean telling them things that aren't 100% true but it is what they want to hear. It could also mean tolerating being around someone who you don't really want to be around. This is just what happens on the outside. Being an avid people pleaser I know what goes on inside their head. On the inside there may be some anxiety about how to act or worry about making sure you do the right thing. Even if it isn't much, even a little can cause in action. To the mind of a people pleaser in action is a safe bet if you want to make sure you aren't upsetting or offending anyone. Also going inside their head is an analyzation of every thing that is going on around them, this can cause unneeded pressure and worry.

Now that the concept of being a people pleaser has been covered I am going to ask the question "Can being a people pleaser go to far?". I believe it can. There is nothing wrong with wanting others approval and wanting them to be happy with you and in general, but there is a point where it becomes unhealthy or cruel to someone else. First lets look at unhealthy; if it ever gets to a point where, you look at every little situation and interaction with someone and try to figure out if your doing something wrong and what it is, then it is unhealthy. Doing this will probably leave you to believe that no one likes you, which is a nightmare for a people pleaser. Now Lets look at the cruel side of being a people pleaser. For someone who strives to make others Happy they never intend to hurt or make things hard for others. This may sometimes mean that they tell people what they want to hear to some extent. Being a people pleaser myself I know the reality of this, and it is hard for me to evaluate or judge something or someone. Even in my own mind I have a hard sometimes. It could be a simple of question of "Did I do a good job, or a matter that could affect someones future. People pleasers don't intend to hurt but ask yourself this question "Are you really doing what is best for the other person.

Striving to make others happy is not a bad thing by any stretch of the imagination, and I think we all have the desire to not upset others (some more than others). However if obsessed over, used as a barrier or trying to protect others it can turn out bad. I have had experience with every situation and I know that it can turn out bad. So my challenge is this for everyone not just people pleasers. Who should you spend more time and energy pleasing others or God. You know the answer and so do I.

This brings me to my next that I will let you ponder in your own head. "People have the tendency to be meaner to the ones that they love the most and who love them the most, because they know that they will still love them." My mom told this to me, I think it is pretty impressive.

8/20

This blog is getting very long please bear with me. I wrote this section at 12:00 Midnight after just getting back from Kings Dominion; it was a blast. I'd like to give a shout out to everyone who came (John, Ashley, Micheal, Jessie, Rachael, Emma, Leslie, Amy, Tim, and how could I forget David Story AKA Death Storm. The coasters are great but the people your with make or break the day. Can't wait for next year, here's to hoping, Ceder Point.

The Montgomery County Agricultural fair has come and gone, but the pigs have not. Most will be attending the state fair over the labor day weekend. The pigs did well and I had a great week. Thanks goes out to any and all FBCGV members who came to visit. I truly do appreciate it. That about sums up what I've been doing with my life, now for some more meat and potatoes.

In my personal and professional opinion the term "Best Friend" is being used and abused a lot more now a days. Many people do not have a clear concept of what it means to be a best friend. They throw the word around and you may find that if you spend enough time with them that they have multiple "Best" friends. How can that be, everyone can't be the best because some are always better. No ones perfect and everyone has preferences, everyone can't be your best friend.Nonetheless, I see it all the time, people will comment "oh, their my best friend" or "Your my best friend" or even better "Your my best friend now." My sister is one of the worst at this; everyone is her best friend. When I hear her say this it makes me mad, does she really mean it for everyone, No! It is as simple as that, everyone can't be your best friend.

What do people like my sis and others use this term so often. One reason may be because they don't really know who their best friend is so if they call everyone their best friend, then they won't have to make a decision. The thing about picking one best friend is that you don't know if you are their best friend also. Another reason could be just plain not really meaning it and using the wrong word. I'm only speculating on why this happens, but I do know one thing. I take The mater seriously. If someone calls me their best friend I want them to mean it. I don't want to hear a week latter them calling someone else their best friend. Sure best friends do change but not on a week to week sporadic basis. Developing a best friendship takes time, and trust, this is for a true best friendship. You can depend on a best friend; anytime, anywhere they got your back. Some people are like that naturally so it can be tricky to tell. It should be seen as an honor to be called someones best friend, because it means they trust you and you can trust them. I think in this world the idea and practice of a best friend is dieing. Sure there are really good friends or people who are fun to be around, people that will help you out, and their are even true best friends.

People should be more aware of what the word really means and how they are using it, because having a true best friend is special. And it is something you shouldn't let slip away without a fight! Take some time to consider your friends, do you have any true best friends or at least some potential. I know to a lot of people, they may not care if you call them your best friend and you just mean your having fun or thier one of your good friends. For me however having a best friend and being a best friend means something. I try to be the best friend I can be at all times to everyone, but to have a true best friendship it takes two.

"Friends may come and go like the season, but a true Best Friend will last a life time."

-Josh Mayne

"Friendship is defined one all levels "

-Josh Mayne

The Deathly Hallows

I have just finished the seventh and final installment of the Harry Potter Series "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows". The total elapsed time since I started the book was about 30 hours, which is an all time record for me. The was everything I expected it to be, I laughed, I cried, my heart beat fast, the whole time I was spellbound. The Harry Potter series will always have a special place in my heart. I give the series all of the credit for my love for reading, especilly fantasy adventure books. It saddens me to think such a great series is coming to an end. I look forward to the next book written by J.K. Rowling whether it is a Harry Potter book (which she says she is done with) or not.

Sorry this still isn't going to be a full length blog again I am on a time restraint.

"Fear of failure is the fear to live"

Short and Sweet

This is going to be a quick blog just so I can catch myself back up. I do not have much time so there will be nothing thought provoking out of me today. Don't worry I have something nice cooking up for my next POST.

Anyway, Bible school has come and gone and Mr. and Mrs. Mayne did a great job of setting it up in my unbiased opinion.

Last Wednesday I was very excited to be getting back into the swing of things as far as working out is concerned. So Wednesday morning at 8 A.M. I was at Linganore High School working out with the track coach. My return to working out was short lived as I felt something snap in my right hamstring during one of my sprints. I tore my hamstring and now am sidelined for about a month, and maybe longer if I can't control my urges to run and play. I am going to physical therapy two times a week, my first was yesterday.

Other than that I haven't been up to much, just resting at home most of the time. I will leave with this thought "Everyone makes mistakes. How a person deals with their mistakes is a mark of their character." I couldn't resist. Thoughts for my next post are already swirling around if only I had time to do it now.

Latter

Here is Some New Perspective

Here is my first blog as Mr. Summit Lake 07', yes you read right for any who don't know I am Mr. Summit Lake. Camp was awesome this year and it wasn't because of the pageantry, it was because of the worship, the messages, the moving of the holy spirit, and the overall fellowship that I was able to be a part of. For those that read my earlier blog camp did meet my expectations even with the higher standard I had set. The messages presented by Jason Sheffstall were excellent, I could connect to them and I believe many people there could connect to them as well. I am glad that it wasn't a typical message given at camp. The message of salvation was still given, but people who were already saved and wanted to grow or Transform, really were given the opportunity to learn how to do so. The worship music was great David Story, Paul, Evan and Ashley all did a great job. The music really set my mind and heart in a place where I was ready to hear what God had to say to me through the message. I haven't been attending Summit Lake camp as long as some but I can already see why it has a special place in so many peoples hearts.

Last night I was pondering what else I should include in my blog besides my camp experiences, what insights and thoughts do I have for the world (or at least who ever reads my blog). I decided on a topic that is relevant to me and is something that I believe strongly in, and have actually said a few times in my everyday life. "Its only weird if you make it weird". This can be viewed in a couple of different ways. The first is with what people say; often (at least for me) I find people can take what you say in a totally different way than the way you meat it. You could say something completely normal in your mind but someone else can twist your words into having a meaning completely different than what you say. This often makes a perfectly normal statement into a gross, or inappropriate comment. The person on the receiving end of the comment choose to make what you said weird. When this happens to me, I in no way mean to make it weird and it just goes to show it's only weird if you make it weird.

Another way to look at this saying is with situations in life. There are situations where interaction can be weird or awkward between two people. You may think that this is normal and can be expected in some circumstances. I want to look at the "why", what makes a situation weird or awkward, is it the people involved or is it entirely the situation and circumstance. If you go by the statement "Its only weird if you make it" than it is entirely up to the people involved if they are going to allow it to be weird or awkward. You have a decision in every circumstance you can decide how you want to make things. I am just trying to spread a new perspective for looking at awkward situations. I have found that using this new perspective has helped me to get over the awkwardness in any situation, because I know that I control at least some of the power in deciding how weird it is going to be. The other people involved also play a role, but if you can do your part that will go a long way.

I am writing this blog over a two day stretch so I decided to add another thought topic that I have on my mind. I am going to use another saying, this one I think many people have heard of before; "You never know what you got till its GONE!". I find this to be totally true, have you ever had something that you enjoyed having but you didn't think it was as good as it could be. So the whole time you were wishing and trying to make things better or improve upon them. Overall the whole time you weren't satisfied with what you had, it could be something you own, a position, a feeling, a friendship, or fame. Then one day either because you tried to hard, or an uncontrollable reason, what you once had is GONE. It is not until this point that you can truly tell what you had. You may find that what you used to have was awesome, but because you were so unsatisfied at the time with what you had, you never got to enjoy what you had. Now the thing that you thought was so sub-par is all you want. Now all the time you spent wishing you had something better you spend wishing you could have back what you Lost. Be happy and content with what you have, one day you may not have it any more so enjoy it while you can. I have also found that being content with something may allow it to last longer.

That is all for this posting I hope I have shed a new perspective on some very serious matter in life. Things are how you view them, and that is what perspective is all about. It's not always easy to think in these ways, I do not do it very often, but when I am able to I find life much more enjoyable.

Expectations

These first two weeks of summer have been completely different for me. I spent most of the first week hanging out by myself at the house and most of this week with other people. It all started Sunday with my very first game of golf. I've always wanted to give it a shot but never really had the chance to. I found out it is pretty tough and I would like to give it another shot, but first I need some practice on the driving range. My week continued with a day on the Severn river the next day. I had a blast definitely more fun than last year even though we didn't stay the night. I was a little worried about the expectations I had, but more on that latter. Tuesday Micheal came over so we could study together for out make up Finals. It was nice to hang out with him, I wish the circumstances would of been different, my parents wouldn't really let us do anything except study. The fun continued after our tests Wednesday morning. We got to go hang out at the Mercers for a few hours, I got to eat some delicious grilled cheese sandwiches. That night I helped hand out door hangers for vacation bible school. The activity finally ended there, and so far today I haven't done much of anything but I am going to see what I can do about that.

Camp is coming up in a couple of days, and I have to admit that I am very excited but at the same time do not want to be. This will only be my third year of camp and I am definitely looking forward to it more than any other year before. The first year I was excited but really didn't know what to expect, I had fun but didn't really enjoy myself all that much. Last year I wasn't really that excited about going the year before wasn't that great for me. I ended up having a blast, I was finally starting to get comfortable around everyone and it took me less than two years! So that brings us to this year, and I am very excited and I know it will be loads of fun. These high expectations are scarring me.

An expectation is what you expect to happen, they can be high or low, good or bad. I have had some bad experiences with expectation in the past and that is why I am hesitant about having them good or bad. Having high expectations about something can lead to disappointment if the expectations are not met. Even if you did have fun the fact that you set expectations that did not get met can ruin it for you. I had some good and some bad expectations for this years summer splash. The good expectation was met and the bad expectation never happened and turned out to be good, that is why I can say that I had such a great time. With camp it is the same deal, I don't want to set myself up for disappointment by expecting to much. The thing with expectations are when something happens once you expect it to happen every time but that doesn't always happen. You never can expect how someone will react to every situation.

When making expectations, expect the possibility of disappointment either in a good or bad way.

J-U-ICE

Mowing The Lawn

Well I have been spending this week chillin' at home, is nice to get some time to relax and not have much to worry about or anything to do. I am ready to go out there and do something, be around people, and have fun. Which is exactly what I plan to do, go and see a movie here in a little bit. I have had a lot of time to do some reading. The last couple of months I haven't really read that much. This week however I rekindled my love and have stayed up till 2 a.m. reading on multiple nights. A good book is so hard to put down it takes you into a whole new world, which for me is in some made up place as I am a fan of fantasy novels. Speaking of fantasy novels; I am really getting excited for the seventh Harry Potter book to come next month, and the special effects in the new movie look pretty sweet. Enough about books.
For me the best time to do some serious meditation is while mowing the lawn. I got a chance to do that the other day and I really enjoyed it. There is something about being outside going around in circles for a few hours that really lets the body relax and the mind wander. Some of my biggest decisions and realizations have been made while mowing.
Something that really intrests me are people, their actions, reasoning, who they choose to be, how they act, their motives everything. If you really take the time to consider someones actions besides you will find your self lost in a web of if's and what if's. As one of my least favorite teachers used to say "If frogs had wings, they wouldn't bump their butts when they bounced." Seriously it is hard enough to try and figure out your own motivies sometimes, because to do that you have to be completely honest with yourself and if you are honest with yourself you realize you aren't the type of person that you want to be or you want people to see you as. So often people hide their true intentions under some alternative intention. Deep down they really know what they want and no matter how much they try to cover it up it is still there. If that doesn't give you enough to think about here is some more. You cannot understand another person fully through their actions and words. For ages people have been working on ways to decieve each other. You may be able to tell true deception such as lies and trickery but not things that are the truth. By that I mean what someone tells you may have a completely different meaning than how you precieved. This can be for a number of reasons; complete misunderstadings, you may not have the perspective the other person has, or the situation may be different for you compared to the other person. A combination of all is also completely possible. Knowing what people intend to do or what they mean or even how they feel is sometimes hard to tell. My advice is to not read to much into things but make sure you read the bold print.
Feel free to disagree with anything I just wrote, or just let me know what you think about it, or add to it. Sorry if their are any type o's, spell check will not work for me.

To Colorado And Back

A new post is finally here, I had meant to write another blog before set out on my adventure in Colorado, but alas it didn't work. I would say City Reach 08 was a success, while there I believe a total of 50 people came to know Jesus as their lord and savior. I also believe that most of the impact that was done on the city of Colorado will not be evident till latter. A lot of people saw what we were doing for their city and community. They may not have made the decision while we were there but what we did may lead them to begin saved in the future. I think a lot of people within the City Reach group were impacted by the preaching of Brother Chad Graves. He did a great job of delivering some very powerful messages that were said in a way that was easy to understand, but heart piercing enough to be long lasting in the eyes of those who were listening.

The theme of this blog is all about perspective and how it effects how you live your life. I came away from city reach with some new perspectives on some things in life and realized a few things about myself, others, and maybe people in general.

One thing I feel that I learned a lot about or experienced was communicating with others and how delicate of a process it can be or in some cases isn't. You have to make sure that you really know the person that you communicate with, so you know how far to take a joke or how much they may be joking with you. I am usually pretty good with this, knowing when someone is joking with me and understanding how far I can go with a joke. It is however a lot harder with some people than it is with others. Things may be an obvious joke to you but others don't see it that way or vice versa. What is really frustrating is when this happens to someone who you used to be able to read and they could read you pretty well also. I believe that this is a sign of both people not knowing what to expect from the other, that is how the confusion starts kicking in. I believe that something like this can be caused by tension or strain.

I am happy to say that I think my sister is finally back to normal, which is a huge relief for me. For you who don't know I missed my sister dearly while at City Reach even though she was in Colorado with me. She is one of my best friends and it was hard for me to see her but not be able to be her friend while in Colorado. This is can be said for others at times. Now that we are back in Maryland we have started laughing and talking a lot like old times. That was one of the few things that I didn't like about Colorado.

Summer is finally here, I just have some make-up exams to take on June 27th and my 11th grade year of high school will be over. I am almost ready for summer, there are still a few that I would like to do before I can be in that fun loving summer attitude. I have some high expectations for this summer, I can drive, I will have some income, and have made some new friends over the year that I hope to be able to hang with. There are also some friendships that I hope can be strengthened over the summer. Last summer was at times the best ever, I hope put an entirely good summer together or at least as improve upon last year.

That is all I have for now, I thought for sure that I had more to write but right now none comes to mind. Fear not I plan to write again soon.